I Looked At Myself In The Mirror
by cyndaquil
Summary: What was the impact of Hikaru and Nova merging together
1. First Look

Disclaimer:

I don't own MKR nor intend to profit from use of the characters.

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I looked at myself in the mirror. The girls had all insisted I looked the same as always. None-the-less I look totally different. What could be the source of the difference? Mentally I retraced my steps.

"Now let's see! I merged with Nova, became the pillar of Cephiro, and confessed my love to Lantis." I couldn't help but giggle in remembering the last one. Now here I was, back on earth. Back to a normal life, yet something was different.

"I wonder… Am I glowing with happiness because Lantis said he loved me? No! I miss him too much. Am I melancholy because we're apart? No! I don't feel like something is missing." Something missing I thought. Nova was a part of me, yet I didn't realize she had become a separate entity. Furthermore Nova rejoined me and I don't feel a separate presence.

What was that girl exactly? When I… when I killed Emeraude my guilt had burned a scar in Cephiro. That is how she described her birth. Yet Nova wasn't guilt. No, she was me without any guilt. She was beautiful without trying to be beautiful. She acted on her emotions even when it hurt others, or herself. No guilt. But I was guilty. Before Emeraude I was carefree. I had a clear conscious. Is that what I lost? Is that what she was? Is that why I envied her?

When we reunited I still felt guilty. I guess you can't take back lost innocence.

No wait! I didn't kill Emeraude! Nova did! It all makes sense. She has been trying to confuse me since we reunited. Nova was the evil part of me. I expelled her after she killed Emeraude. I took her back only to keep her from harming others. I do have a clear conscious. Whatever wrong I do is because she's inside me. I'm good. I'm sweet, and noble, and good. When I do wrong it's Nova's doing not mine.

Suddenly I saw something strange in the mirror. My hair lengthened and lightened to a pink. My ears became pointed and elfin. My body grew thinner, daintier, yet stronger. I'd become Nova. I giggled in my slightly softer voice.

Where was the line between Nova and Hikaru. I didn't feel any shift in my mind. Heck I couldn't even feel the change in my body as it happened. Yet I am Nova now. It is as plain as the nose on my face. This means I can do anything! Because Nova doesn't care. When I'm Hikaru again it'll be Nova's fault, not mine…I mean hers.

Let's see what Umi's doing tonight!

TO BE CONTINUED

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I've been obsessing for awhile about the impact of Hikaru and Nova merging together.

Does she have Novas memories?

Can they perceive themselves as separate people still?

Does Hikaru feel responsible for Nova's actions?

Was Hikaru changed by the experience?

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	2. Next Look

It's strange you don't see more people scale tall buildings. I mean there are all these guys who climb mountains on their weekends, why not buildings. Buildings have these regular grooves between the brick where as with mountains you don't know where your footing will disappear. Damn it, how many stories did I climb so far. Umi lives on the fourteenth floor, but some buildings skip the thirteenth floor because it's bad luck, or is that the fourth floor? Fourth makes more sense, why would thirteen be unlucky. You know, I bet that American Spider guy never has these problems when he scales buildings. Let's see! I count five windows below me so I have nine to climb, but its eight if a floor is skipped. Well back to climbing.

Nine stories later I go to the leftmost apartment facing main street. There she is. Umi. Slowly I peek my head through the window trying not to be seen. What I see makes me laugh so hard I almost slip. Lucky I can fly.

I … I mean that silly Hikaru is always asking Umi what she does to keep her hair so straight, and every time she blushes then answers "nothing special." Now here she is brushing her hair and counting off each stroke. The funny thing is she has already reached 246 strokes and is still going. Doesn't do anything special, does she. That vain little twit.

Since I'm not really sure what I'm here to do I don't mind waiting a little longer. She gives her hair a total of 400 strokes then changes from her robe to her pajamas and goes to bed. Soon she is asleep. This makes me realize I'm still wearing my own … I mean Hikaru's pajamas. Oh well! I'm A girl with pointy ears and pink ankle length hair, scaling the side of a building, I'm sure the pajamas couldn't possibly attract any more attention. Besides I'm not afraid of getting caught. I don't worry about anything. Hikaru worries, Nova appreciates.

Next, I pass through the wall and float slowly towards her bed. I move without a sound yet as I approach she clutches at her covers. There is no fear and no doubt. Hikaru can do the worrying for me. I don't care what Hikaru feels; Nova will do as she pleases.

"Now what shall I do with you my dear. giggle giggle " Leaning in I awaken her with a gentle kiss. She gives a content sigh, which makes me blush a little. Then her eyes open and she looks at me. "Hikaru!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" I yell

Leaping back, I throw myself in front of the vanity mirror. No it can't be. Shorter red hair, round ears, darker skin. I'm Hikaru. But when? How long? I turn to Umi.

"How long!" I demand to know.

"How long what?"

"Was it me or her that… that…kissed you."

"What are you talking about. Hikaru, I…I understand if your confused. I am to! But what just happened its okay. I'm okay with it. I…"

"It must have been her, it must have. I wouldn't"

Umi walks over, and is about to put her hand on my shoulder, but suddenly she steps back.

"NOVA!" she exclaims in shock.

My gaze turns to the mirror and sure enough I've become Nova again. "Stop worrying, stop doubting" I tell myself. " I'm not Hikaru anymore. Why am I still afraid?"

Umi looked deep into my eyes then a look of enlightened understanding crossed her face.

She moved so that her head was facing the mirror and my back was turned to it. Then she pulled me in for another kiss. This felt more natural somehow. Though I'm…I mean Hikaru is kinda the leader in Cephiro, Umi always did have greater initiative. I tried to raise my hand and stroke her hair but Umi grabbed both my hands and held them tightly.

"Okay" she exclaimed. "You're Nova now! Hikaru does not inhibit you! Now just tell me what it is you're feeling."

I wanted to, I really did! But my hair felt to light for Nova and my body felt to heavy to be Nova's and I wondered was she lying.

TO BE CONTINUED

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	3. Preparations

This is Umi's bed.

I am sleeping in Umi's bed.

It's warm and soft, and the sheets smell like her.

Don't get any weird ideas though. She isn't in the bed with me.

That goody-goody Hikaru got all confused when Umi asked her what she was feeling. She stared into space for a while then answered "I'm tired."

Umi told her to lie down. She thinks I'm asleep right now. Maybe I am. When your mind is neither here nor there it's kind of hard to tell asleep from awake. Sometimes life just doesn't feel real.

Now Umi is talking to Fuu on the phone. That gossip never even considered keeping this just between us. Not that I care. I do as I please and they say as they will, that's all.

Pity I can only hear one end of the conversation.

"Yes that's what happened."

"No it's not that simple."

"Well you know how she is."

"No I think… I think Hikaru's just using Nova to act on her own feelings."

"She isn't schizoid; she's just uh...just a bit confused."

"I don't need to be a psychiatrist it's really obvious."

"Yes I know."

"Oh and how are we going to explain her transforming into a pink haired pixie and flying through walls."

"I know, mine don't work outside Cephiro either. Maybe her powers are just stronger. She is the pillar for crying out loud."

"It's Alright, I phoned her house last night and told her brothers that Hikaru was helping me with some homework and we lost track of time."

"Yes they believe it."

"She doesn't need that she just needs to know whatever she's feeling is ok."

I should hurt Fuu for calling me schizoid. Of course I don't know if she really said that. Knowing her the wording was probably more tactful. And maybe this conversation never happened. I am asleep after all. Well, I think I am.

I suppose I'll just have to wake up and ask. It shouldn't be hard; especially if I'm not asleep. Just have to give a little yawn and sit up. That's all it takes.

"Oh Hikaru, you're up."

"Umi" I ask, "What did Fuu say about me?"

"Fuu thinks that you're being controlled by Nova, so she's worried," Umi replied.

"Thinks! What do you mean by thinks I'm being controlled. You saw it last night. You saw how Nova took over her…my…uh…our body. You know it was her that…that. You know right?"

"Oh just a slip of the tongue," Umi said as though trying to avoid the subject. "Hey Hikaru, since this is happening, why don't the two of us go out."

"What are you talking about? This is no time to play. She could take control at any time!" I yell.

"You misunderstand," says Umi with a totally unfazed voice. "I'm not asking if you and I can hang out. I'm asking if me and Nova can date."

"Umi are you out of your mind," I respond. "I am not in control of this. She takes over my body whenever she pleases."

"Perfect!" Umi looks me in the eyes. "Nova if you're listening, come out in about half an hour and I'll treat you to brunch."

I get up and back away, looking at Umi as though she's insane. Seems odd somehow that I should be the one doing that.

A quick shower helps clear my head a little.

It becomes obvious that Umi is not really trying to date Nova. She must want to confront her, reason with her, or maybe even destroy her.

Umi's just using this date scenario as a very ill thought out way to keep me from worrying and keep Nova from knowing what's going to happen. Then I leave the washroom, and enter Umi's room, where she said I could change. There they are. Clothes she laid out for me on the bed and seeing those makes me worry again.

Don't get me wrong, the clothes are modest enough. Though it is odd she picked a dark blue Kimono. Where do people wear kimonos in this day and age? There are not many places. Marriage meetings, festivals, cosplay conventions. None-the-less, it isn't so much the style of clothes that worries me as the color. The kimono is dark blue with a pink cherry blossom pattern and a white sash with gold trim. This will look terrible on me! Who can possibly pull off wearing blue, pink, white, and yellow?

Asking myself this I am suddenly reminded of Nova's body tight battle armor back in Cephiro.

Umi was serious! She wants to go on a date with Nova.

Not wanting to stand in a towel all day I put the clothes on. Or is she making me put them on. That makes more sense. Nova must be trying to take control right now.

Where did Umi get these clothes on such short notice?

The bra is about two sizes too big. This I find strange. Umi knows my measurements. We shop together often enough.

Oh of course! Nova is bigger than I am in the chest. Could she tell just by looking? That's a strange talent. Is it possible that Umi goes for these girl-girl dates? She never mentioned anything before.

I look at myself in the vanity mirror and am shocked to see just how much I am blushing. This is not okay I tell myself. I close my eyes and gather all my strength, and prepare to resist when Nova tries to take over our body. I won't allow this! I won't allow this! I open my eyes in front of the mirror and Nova is looking back. I have already transformed.

"What the…when did I…I mean…good. Now I can do as I please with Umi, and Hikarus' stupid conscience won't interfere." giggle giggle I tighten my sash slightly to adjust for my more slender frame. Then I check my hair. Make-up isn't necessary with these perfect features.

Sorry for the long time between updates. Considering how short the chapters are I guess there is no descent excuse. Still, if your following this story I do intend to start the next chapter really soon. Thanks for reading and please send reviews.


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